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By Linda Thomas
Hometown Weekly Correspondent
Perhaps Erik Bailey chose to rescue others in hopes of rescuing himself.
He still remembers the day he helped save a man’s life.
It was spring 2010. Bailey was working as a paramedic in Newton.
He’d just finished his shift when he got a call from a dispatcher that a 42-year-old man had collapsed after shooting hoops on a basketball court and suffered cardiac arrest. The man’s wife and kids sat in the stands, watching it all.
Bystanders performed CPR and administered one shock via the basketball court’s defibrillator before Bailey and his crew arrived. The man was pulseless. The crew revived him and treated him as they took him to the hospital.
“His body was rewiring itself,” recalls Bailey. “It was like watching a computer reboot.”
Within approximately two minutes the man sat up and opened his eyes. After a brief explanation of what had happened, the back doors to the ambulance opened up and his family saw him alive and well.
“I know that was a special moment for them as a family — and I was proud to be part of it. The joint efforts of everyone made that a successful save.
“It was probably one of the best feelings I’ve had in my life.”
From an early age Bailey knew what it was like to experience one traumatic event after another — sudden deaths of friends and family, parents divorcing, losing a high school mentor.
So it came as no surprise when the 31-year-old took a path where he could alleviate trauma and tragedy for others.
On July 23, 2013, Bailey was hired as a firefighter with the Walpole Fire Department. Having worked as a paramedic, he knew to expect days that would bring heartache.
“I knew I wasn’t going to be shell-shocked by any trauma,” he said. “I’m in the game.”
But there was the time he almost fell off.
Life changed on August 1, 1995 for a then-9-year-old Erik Bailey, who grew up in North Andover and spent summers in Orleans on Cape Cod.
He remembers that hot day when he begged his mother to stay home and hang out with older brother Jeff. But plans were made for him to spend the day with a cousin, having fun and swimming in the pool.
Back home, Jeff — who turned 12 just a week before — was hit by a car and killed while rollerblading in front of his house.
Three months later, older brother Mark and sister Monica went with their aunt to surprise Bailey on his 10th birthday, on November 25, picking up presents and a cake. On the way, they got into a car crash that left their aunt dead and Mark and Monica seriously injured.
When Bailey was 14, his parents divorced.
“I handled it like an adult,” he recalls. “I could see things weren’t working between them anymore.”
The dynamic was tough, but young Bailey pushed on.
Erik and Monique Bailey with their two-year-old yellow Lab, Addie.
In January 2006, his junior year at UMass Amherst, Bailey walked into the school cafeteria where someone was handing out flyers seeking volunteer firefighters. He thought, “Why not … I’ll give it a shot.”
“I applied,” he recalled, “and fell in love with it.”
Then, in April, after a long weekend away, Bailey came back to his dorm to find his roommate — and high school buddy — dead in bed.
That was the final blow. Bailey dropped out of college, needing time to recover.
During the summer of 2006, Bailey trained as an EMT basic and later went on to become a paramedic.
Fellow firefighter Dave Jenks describes Bailey as “one of the better friends I’ve made from the fire department.
“We do a lot of training classes outside the fire department together. We talk a lot about the department and how we can make it better.”
Bailey is always trying to train, to make sure he’s better at his craft, and taking the time to continue his education and learn more about helping others, Jenks said.
“Ever since I’ve known him, he’s worked every single day on how to help the deaf community get better care from the fire department,” Jenks said. “Not all of us can say we have that skill — and it’s nice to have a representative who is really pushing forward on that.”
Taking a Chance
In May, Bailey organized the first “Emergency Preparedness for the Deaf” seminar held in Walpole.
The event brought together public safety workers and members of the deaf community to explain the services available to them, and what to expect should the fire department be called to assist them and how the department can improve its care and services.
“They are very visual, so you need to show them what the fire department can do, show them the trucks, show them the tools, show them the ambulance and answer any questions they might have,” Bailey said.
His interest in the deaf community grew after he met and married his wife, Monique, who was born deaf and is legally blind.
Monique attended the seminar.
“We are innocent. We need to be able to tell our side of the story,” Monique said in an interview using an interpreter.
“The seminar was great exposure,” she said. “I’m familiar with the system and the equipment … I grew up around it. But that day my eyes were wide open because I didn’t realize the rest of the community were so much in the dark about what emergency services can do and what kind of equipment they use.”
At 18, Monique was diagnosed with Usher Syndrome Type 1, a genetic disorder characterized by deafness and progressive vision loss due to retinitis pigmentosa.
“Watching someone go blind is a slow grieving process,” he said. “I like to help people. But I can’t help her with her vision loss. I can only love her — that’s the way it is.”
Monique works for the New England Home for the Deaf in Danvers. She takes the train and then the Ride picks her up. Addie, the couple’s 2-year-old yellow Lab, is Monique’s constant companion.
A motto of the deaf community is: “We can do everything hearing people do except hear.”
And, as Monique says, “Just because I’m disabled doesn’t mean I’m not able.”
Bailey and Monique, who is half Italian and half Brazilian, met 6 1/2 years ago at Cahoon Hollow Beach in Wellfleet.
She was standing in line in front of him at the Beachcomber Restaurant. He noticed this beautiful woman - dark eyes, mocha skin, her dark hair in a ponytail – who no one was talking to.
Something about her presence made it seem as if she was in her own bubble.
“I didn’t understand why at first when nobody was talking to her,” he said. “She was with a group but they were all chatting amongst themselves.
“After about an hour I saw she was texting by herself and thought, ‘Why is no one talking to this beautiful girl?’ and thought, ‘I’ve got to go talk to her.’”
“When I went up to say hello, her friend stopped me to say I couldn’t talk to her. I didn’t understand and asked, ‘Why not?’
“She’s deaf,” her friend said.
“I took my phone out, opened up my note pad app and wrote, ‘Hi, my name is Erik.’ She wrote back, ‘my name is Monique.’
“So, we talked and in that brief period we had exchanged numbers and later on that night she texted me to say it was nice to meet me. I felt something special.
“Two weeks later, I got my first date.”
At first, he was overwhelmed, not knowing how they were going to communicate. But he said he likes challenges, and felt he needed something different.
“I wanted to take a chance on somebody,” he said, “because, for so many years, nobody took a chance on me throughout all those hard times. I just felt because of her situation she had a tough life and that drew me to be curious.
“I was looking for someone to fall in love with. I wanted someone who has been through a lot, who was my age. We had so many similarities. Her brother passed away, her parents are divorced, her godfather passed away — and her language barrier and language delayed her for a few years in school, so she had to catch up and learn sign language, learn English. She writes in Portuguese.”
Once the couple started dating, Bailey learned sign language and the first six months were all note pads, texting and writing and learning the alphabet.
“She taught me everything,” he said. “I didn’t know anything when I met her. I was like a little kid. I’d ask, ‘How do you say water?’”
Bailey is now going into his second year at Northern Essex Community College in the interpreting sign language school. He intends to transfer after this year to University of New Hampshire Manchester to finish his degree.
“I learned that culturally — and maybe everywhere — equal access to communication is something that’s so important and something that’s not there right now,” he said. “She can’t just go someplace and get the same level of communication. A lot of people avoid her. If she wants to make an appointment with a doctor, it’s more complicated.”
Monique was brought to the United States from her native Brazil when she was 8. Her father, mother and sister were all deported, and Monique was sheltered by a family that helped get her into schools and scholarships at Gallaudet University in Washington, the first deaf college in the world.
She earned a degree in graphic design and is studying for a master’s degree.
On Aug. 16, she was sworn in as a U.S. citizen.
“Her whole life she was afraid,” Bailey said, “and now, she’s not.”
He and Monique are adopting a little girl. They want a girl mainly because they’re a family “full of boys.”
Carry Each Other
Bailey says people can learn a lot from each other.
“Just because someone is hurting doesn’t mean they have nothing to offer,” he said. “If you give people a chance … read their book, if you will, you won’t stop until the end.”
Since that time in August 1995, when Bailey was a little boy, he’d been searching for a sense of community and camaraderie. He says becoming a firefighter provided that.
“It’s like a fraternity,” he said. “We work with the same guys every shift. We go through all stuff together. We cook together, live together and have dorms — and train together. I was looking for that. I really wanted that camaraderie. It’s not a desk job … not something where you punch in and punch out and go home. We go to each other’s weddings, cookouts. I love that and am fortunate to have that.
“And I love helping people.”
But there are days, he says, when the bell goes off and you don’t want to go to the call you hear coming in. But you lean on the guys next to you to get through it.
“You just carry each other.”
Editor’s Note: Linda Thomas writes profiles for Hometown Weekly Publications, Inc. For comments and suggestions, she can be reached at lindasfaces@gmail.com.
